Thursday, September 20, 2018

Confidence: A Skill Anyone Can Learn

If you feel that you suffer from a lack of confidence, you might well also feel that there is not much you
can do to improve it. However, the truth is that everyone can learn to be more confident, as long as you
know what it takes to do so. Confidence should be thought of more as a skill than anything else, and it’s
not a quality which you simply have or lack. But what should you do to start developing this skill? As we
will see, it is fairly easy to grow your confidence levels as long as you know what you are doing. In this
post, we are going to take a look at some of the best ways to develop your confidence so that you can
feel better about yourself and start living a more fulfilling life.


Focus On Your Positives


It can be easy to allow yourself to over-worry or concern yourself with your flaws and foibles, but the
truth is that this is probably not doing all that much for your sanity and feeling of self-worth. It is better
and more valuable to be able to focus more on your positives, but that can be hard to do if you have long
been used to engaging in the opposite kind of thought and behaviour. Start small - write down a list of
the things that you genuinely like about yourself. If you find even that hard, start by asking a kindly friend
what they think you have to offer the world. With this list written, you should put it into your wallet or your
pocket, or on your fridge - anywhere you are likely to see it regularly - so that you can start to imbibe it
unconsciously. This will help you to recall to mind what your positives are, and that will make it easier to
focus on those qualities when you need to feel better about yourself.


Over time, the act of focusing primarily on your positives will mean that you genuinely start to feel better
about yourself, and you will find that this is a skill which becomes easier and easier the more you
engage in it. Before you know it, you will be aware of your positives much more than your drawbacks,
and your confidence will quite naturally begin to improve and improve.


Work On Your Appearance


Even if you don’t personally place much importance on appearance - and actually, many people do
not - you must agree that it does have some effect on how you feel about yourself. If nothing else
being happy with the person in the mirror is something that we can all agree is valuable, and can help to
make you feel much more confident within yourself. What’s more, the better you look outwardly, the
more that you will get positive reinforcement from the world, which will improve how you feel within. So it
is worth at least getting to a point where you are personally happy with the reflection you see in the
mirror.


There are certain things which are likely to be especially important here, and they tie in with cultural
ideas of what is attractive and desirable in a mate. If you are male, you might find it easier to be happy
with your appearance if you are big, muscly and have a little facial hair. If you are female, the culture is
more likely to make you feel that you should be thin, petite and curvaceous, with long flowing hair. Of
course, how you should look is entirely up to you, and you should only pay attention to these things to
the degree that you personally genuinely care about them. For some people, getting
selfie plastic surgery will be an important step to greater self-respect, and there is nothing wrong with
that. But for others, it might just be enough to feel as though you are happy with how you look
regardless. It’s all about working out what you think and feel, and making sure to fall in line with that.


With that being said, it’s generally wise to try and keep in shape, as being fit and healthy will naturally
lead to you feeling more confident within yourself, in a number of ways at once. If nothing else, being of
healthy body makes it easier to love yourself for who you are, so that's something to think about here.

The Notion Of Faking It


Most advice you hear on confidence replies to some degree on the art of faking it until you make it.
There is a lot of division and confusion surrounding this topic, and you might well find yourself wondering
whether this is really the way to go. The truth is that there is something to it; if you fake confidence, you
will at least learn the feeling of what confidence is like, and over time that will become the real deal. You
might also say that confidence is really just an act anyway, so faking it is the real thing itself. But if you
are uncomfortable with the idea of faking it, you might end up acting in strange or unusual ways which
actually detract from what you are trying to achieve. If you go into it head-first, you might find yourself
thinking that you need to be boisterous, or over-friendly, and end up looking anything but confident.
Therefore, by all means try to engage with the feeling of confidence before you actually have it, but be
careful not to fall into a role of being confident long-term. At some stage, you need to work out where
your own personal confidence must come from.



As you can appreciate, confidence is something that everyone has access to, and you might think of it
as merely the state of being who you are, comfortably. So the more you can get used to who you are,
the more confident you will be - and you will marvel that you ever worried about it in the first place.

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